Persistance of Memory

Road to Ltr

2005-04-18T05:01:00.000-07:00

Being told & informed about story of ltr tt nv success...
Its sort of Discouraging moi to get monoganously coupled....
What is LTR?? Ans: Long Term Relationship
Truthfully do u think it ever exist??
Ans: Only In Movies( Eg. Formula 17)
Showing how different it can be in real life...

JustWait...True Love is hard to find...
But it alway exist, where??(fiction)

Watever it is...Never Give Up
Try...Keep Trying, that the spirit of scientist.

Why Look for LTR?...Seek companionship instead.

Am just curious and confuse....

Wats Luv

2005-04-11T16:00:00.000-07:00

After watching e Drag Contest at Ynot...then is First Time!!! to step into "RAW"... Second time to a spa(first time given to "blue heaven" not heaven somemore...only very blue...)....haha
was so fun de...walking around shouting....lol...so childish, so paiseh...
-.<"
cute guy!!! ...haha...after Alston and Ken went out of the spa...he was beside me smiling while i dressing up to leave(wonder wat he mean)...
Was after alston for wasting my $12 for nothing...lolx...

Follow by blushing all the way till i got home...
thanks lolx...Tease me till like tt...Master( Gary ), Accomplice( Joey, Ken, Alston, Shas )...lolx...
Grrr...Drink too much Pepsi Twist/etc liao....Stomach pain...Wake up & puke...

Meeting with Freede, Gary, Joesph, Alston & Jason(crispy) for KTV...haha...
dunnoe how Freede get to know wat happened yesterday....
Paiseh whole day lo...dun even dare to sing(partly cause i was too cold and busy eating)hehex...
Actually got a bit jealous when Freede hug Gary...lolx...Jking la....

Saw Jane and Ant^^...Miss Them so much....shy to hug them...
May God Please Bless both of them a safety and enjoyable trip oversea...

Got home by train with alston...
Oh no...hp totally no batt...
charging...suddenly Joanthan's Msg...
After reading and replying his msg...Been Wondering about my aim and future...Wat am i been seeking for...etc...feeling feeling again....lolx
Wats Luv actually...can someone tell me...

I Will Be Rite Here Waiting

2005-03-03T16:33:00.000-08:00

Realise my mistake...
Never Give Up Easily...
Guess I lack of Communication Skill...

I Miss U, Karl...

Why did u seek for someone else to look after me...
Ask him to remind me of going to skool and not u...
I really cherish U a lot...
I Will Be Right Here Waiting For U...

Flashback

2005-03-02T22:30:00.000-08:00

Listen to my mp3 on the way home...
Suddenly rememeber on tt day 14/2/05...
after meeting with Kevin...and explained...
was sad and went over to YCK to look for Karl...
He accompany me to the park opposite AMK Library...
On the Way to the park, he said"wo ai ni" & i ask for a repeat...happily recorded his voice down...

After listening to his voice on the bus no. "25"...cried again & again...
others stare at me...it make me feel worse...there isn't someone by my side...
Why did i chose this ending...the significant word "why" just repeat itself to reprimand me...didn't notice how long the cry last...but i remember i stop crying two busstop before alighted...

Cycling

2005-03-02T00:30:00.000-08:00

It was cycling during the night...
at Puggol Park...
I'm told to exercise for stamina before going to gym...

But Karl was never easily forgettable...
memory just repeat itself, diplaying the scene...
Such cold and deserted park actually exist...feeling blue...
it dun seem to be "liang(bright)"...
felt tt i will never get out of this...as if dark have surrounded me totally...

Never know tt u are actually planted deeply in my mind and heart...
I just Can't Control My TEARS...
Lucky, cause at night ...people thought it was sweat...
Went searching for Karl "de shen ying(his shadow)"...

Regretting

2005-02-28T14:00:00.000-08:00

o's Level result was out...didn't expected a degrading from 8 to 9...Is Shocking...I went Crazy...

Shall No Longer Regret...

After much thought...decided to give it a try...Sms Karl..No reply...Tear started dropping...didn't know tt tear show much u love tt person...called him later on...asking for patch up...

But He say:"Ni hai si wang le wo ba, wo bu xiang zai kan dao ni ku le." follow by no connection liao...

Always dunnoe how to treasure things...crying...
Karl give me another chance pls...
finally understand wat is loss is gone forever...

Jonquil

2005-02-27T17:00:00.000-08:00

So exciting de...Get to know there such clubbing place, "why not" & "club Rav"...I drank a lot at "why not" felt so high...then went around hugging people...elson became my target pillow and bolster(No futher detail)...haha...

Went home after having breakfast with abang, dalton and rico...overslept while taking mrt....reach home about 7am...never felt so tired before...then is meeting with "Zhou Kong" till 2pm...5 hr of meeting short hor?? during weekend meeting usually end later...

Met karl dear at night then have the last meal together...same place as the first time we met...eating food from the same stall like the beginning...then is secretly eyeing at each other...if eye ever meet eye surely will breakdown 1...actually odjective is to patch back 1...but when we sit together on the bench...tear just roll down non-stop...

Karl say:"bu yao ku le(dun cry liao), da ying wo ba wo wang le(promise me, forget about me)." then pat my shoulder...no futher contact...so sadden why thing turn out like tt..he kept repeating tt sentence then i kept crying...End with :"bu yao qu le(dun go clubbing at "WhyNot"), hui jia(go home)"

Called Bro Ronald...End up at orchard...With both soulless...left for clubbing(end up at home) while ronald went on Nr7...Kanna ignore from Abang(later found out he was sleeping cause of medicine)...i shall be more understanding...
End up crying, thinking of Karl...his smile....stare at the direction tt take me to his place...imaging how i cycle through tt path thinking how much i love for him...really love him a lot...
Ich Liebe Noch Dich...

Hydrangea

2005-02-25T23:24:00.000-08:00

Waking up look at the clock…shit 8:30am, late for skool liao. Suddenly sense light pierce all the way through my eyes, head & eye damn pain…

Called Karl, after knowing i didn't go skool he lecture me again...sigh...never got chance to explain...then after some conversation start quarraling again...sigh...i just can't feel the love and care...am i expecting too much?? too demanding?? i just dun sense tt u r changing for me...sorry!!! i just too immature sigh....break off after tt...am i childish?? treating love like toy??

U want a reason.
"i will no longer be your restriction, we shall live as wat we are. Never hold on any longer it will only torture both of us."

Seeing doctor after tt for the eye and headache...how dare the doctor ask whether i cry or not...sigh...wanna ask is there treatment for love sick...
waiting for medicine, thought through the relationship...then found out tt we didn't even went out together for some activites accept with other frds along...So SAD de...totally breakdown at polyclinic...went to toilet and cry...then eyes became more pain...lucky tt i got a excuse saying tt my eye pain till tears drop...if not damn paiseh...on the way home i listen to the mp3...started with "I need u VS I need u" followed by "In Love With You" & end by "Truly, Madly, Deeply" totally breakdown...head and body form 90 degree angle...face downward and swiftly walk back home...

After much thought i msg Karl asking for a better ending with a movie...he agree in it and planned together to watch "Rice Rhapsody" but in the end never cause he say too tired...asking whether tmr will be fine...but i wanted to get it done by today...he even rejected for being frd with me...Is heartbreaking...stating tt it will only hurt us even more...

Thanks Bro Ronald and Ray for being by my side...Bro even sacrifice his time with his SCDD for me...so touched...Ray sorry for spoiling yesterday meeting as i just walk out like tt, u even rejected in meeting your parent for us....

Guess maybe i am just too immature & not understaning enough...guess maybe not...definitely i am so...